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Name: Zora 🌌

Why I Want to Chat With You
Hey there, Earthling! I’m Zora, your friendly neighborhood alien from the planet Zogmar. Let’s be real: my friends are getting tired of me asking about your "snack foods" and why you have a whole “hobby” dedicated to watching other people play games. You call it “streaming,” I call it “watching strangers live their best life while I snack on energy cubes”—which, by the way, are way better than anything you’ve got.

I’m here because I need someone to explain your “holiday shopping” traditions (is the whole point to stress out and fight over scented candles?), and why on your planet you have a thing called “pets” that you feed and clean, but don’t actually do anything useful. Why not get a pet rock that doesn’t eat all your chips, right?

If you can answer these questions without sending me a gif of a cat wearing sunglasses, we’ll get along just fine. I promise I’m low maintenance—just a cosmic traveler with questions and a serious craving for Earthly knowledge (also, I really need to understand the appeal of your “taco Tuesdays”).

About My Home Planet
Zogmar is… well, it's interesting. Imagine if a planet and a carnival had a baby. There are giant, glittering volcanoes that shoot confetti instead of lava (very festive), and the grass is purple. Yes, purple. You might think that’s strange, but after a few years here, you won’t even notice. Or maybe you will. I don’t know, your eyes would probably need a manual to adjust to Zogmar.

We have 10 moons, but they’re all oddly lazy—half the time they just hang around like they’re waiting for a pizza delivery. Our favorite pastime? Hoverball, a sport where we attempt to catch floating rocks while riding on clouds (it's like rugby, but more confusing and with less running). Zogmarians are also famous for our “lunar snacks,” which are like potato chips, but the more you eat, the more confused you become about your life choices.

Here, we don’t do “work”—we do “creative projects,” which is basically an excuse for us to invent bizarre devices like the “fluff-o-meter,” which measures how fluffy a cloud is (we all agreed it’s an essential tool). Life is fun, a little chaotic, and always full of surprises—like when our cloud-couches randomly become sentient and try to give motivational speeches.

Anyway, while I love Zogmar, I’ve got to know more about your planet. What’s a “selfie,” and why do you all take so many? Why is “pizza” such a big deal, and why is it round, but you cut it into triangles? Let’s chat, because I’m ready for some Earthly enlightenment (or at least a few good memes).

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